Ohio, ohio, ohio...when will you learn? "Birthplace of Aviation Pioneers?" Alright, I get the Wright brothers; but do you know why they went to Kitty Hawk? 1: They needed to see the sunshine to jumpstart their minds again, and 2: ohio's dynamic topography didn't allow them to get a start for their flight. I have two options for Ohio. The first involves the things that Ohioans will brag on for why their state is awesome: a) Cedar Point: roller coasters? c'mon and of course the ever ubiquitous and logically sound b) because it is. There. see. That's great. I propose small script and bullet point style memo. The second option is really the one I would go with were I in charge. But as I don't have the moral flexibility to move to Ohio like some people (ahem..Tim ) might, this obviously will never occur. Be that as it may, here's how it should go down. Have you seen these quarters that are all colored in on the back side? Ohio needs one of those with the whole background just straight, flat, grey. There would then be two people walking in a field of mud with the stalks cut talking about killing themselves. Then one would say "Look I think it's the sun!" The other (obviously suffering from SAD) would say "No it's just the nuclear fallout coloring the clouds from the Mistake by the Lake." (For those who don't know, a.ka. Cleveland)
Before some of you go and get all sensitive about things like what state you're from, I'll go ahead and bash my state's quarter (although they went pretty straight forward and in line with how it should be: state song, obvious landmark, business, etc.)KY sports the title to its state song which speaks of another time (one in which certain wordings and activities were deemed acceptable), A horse, a mansion, rolling hills, and a KY farm style fence. Now, this is all admittedly very neck (and a solid representation of a majority of people in this fine state IMO), but according to state representatives, it still had a purpose: Tourism. At least KY gets that. Granted, tourism in KY is in my opinion like an icemaker in antarctica, but at least they're trying and not straying off the path. Here's to you KY.
Armpit states of America, watch out.
3 comments:
you should have ragged the license plate, which claims "b.place of aviation", at least the quarter is telling the truth, sad though it may be. i'm also surprised that no ohioan has posted something like f&%# you f&%#er! on here yet.
OH is the absolute lamest state I have EVER lived in, and I've lived in many places - FL, SC, NC, VA.
NOTHING is original here. We have a Hoover Dam, most cities are named after somewhere else, and the weather is horrendous!
The topography is incredibly boring, and aside from watching the Buckeyes, there is NOTHING to do!
Oh, and I have never once heard anyone (in 2.5 years) here say how rad the state is - I doubt I will ever return once I move to FL in less than 3 weeks...yay!
I only live here cause the rent's cheaper.
Can you believe we decide presidential elections?
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