Monday, October 02, 2006
It's difficult to go very long in the work world without realizing that it often is just killing the soul. "Grow up and act like an adult", is something often uttered in a silent voice in the mind. But doesn't it seem that things are just wrong? That the real person you used to be is being replaced by a robotic unit working for the bottom line.
Another example is in how we relate to others. Many people, myself most guilty among them often live and "love" in ways so as to keep people at a distance. It's not that we don't care, or aren't transparent. It's simply that we've been hurt and just can't really handle it anymore, so we despair and deal with it by denying risk. I don't mean to say whenever somebody doesn't pursue a relationship, it's because they're scared. Often, that gut feeling early on is a pretty good indicator.
But what happened to that kid? That kid with a heart of gold, that kid who cried "daddy", the kid who was willing to throw down with someone twice his size for messing with his brother, and the kid who's not at all ashamed to say, "that's wrong. Here's an idea: in the midst of growing up, the kid felt like he had to change and become fully independent, and to do that, she had to deny other parts of herself. What to do now, when the independence is all that's left?
My only answer is to cry out to God for mercy. To ask for renewal and rebirth. For Humility and grace. It's going to be a long road, but "There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere..." Here's to a different kind of freedom, a different kind of kingdom; one where the heart of a child is honored and longed for.