Friday, August 07, 2009

America the Beautiful (But irrationally disturbing)


A short, true story.

Sam & Amber relocated from Lexington, KY to Tampa, FL. Sam & Amber purchased a new home. Sam & Amber realized that they needed garbage can lids for the garbage cans that they had. Sam went to home depot. At home depot, one cannot buy a lid separate from a trash can top. In HD's defense, they had the exact same number of cans and tops, so it kind of made sense. One of the Sales associates sent Sam to Wal-Mart in search of the elusive standalone garbage can lid. Sam entered Waltonland full of hope, and left questioning the future of his country.

Upon entering the hardware area, Sam located approximately 15 lids that didn't seem to have a matching can and thought "This is going to work perfectly. Great!" Sam asked the hardware worker if they were sold separately and the worker told him that they were not, and that the lids would most likely be thrown away. Sam took 3 lids to check out of the store hoping someone with half a brain would sell him the lids and was asked to remove himself from the normal line and go to customer service. Sam then talked to two successive customer service managers and was denied buying said lids because "they don't have a barcode." Sam contemplated walking out of the store with the lids since the inane inhabitants of Waltonland would not accept his polite remuneration for the product they seemed to sell.

Sam left dejected and without hope. He just wanted trash can lids and got a reality check regarding the future. A representative government might not be a good idea in countries where people have no ability to think.

THE END.