Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Cornhole for Life


For those of you thinking, "that Sam is always so crass and today is simply another example!", I'm gonna need you to simma down. I am not in fact being crass, but merely supporting a good cause. Cancer is a terrible thing. Don't get me wrong; Conspiracy theorist Sam questions the support for research and discovery by pharmaceutical companies with obvious conflicts of interest. What with cancer being a multi-million/billion dollar industry. Let's look past that today.


Today is the annual ACS Relay for Life Cornhole tournament fundraiser, and I for one am excited. Not solely because it's actually warm here again. No, no, but because I'm paired with our 70+ year old golf-addicted (but a really nice guy) Janitor. "Why", you may ask "are you excited, Sam?" Because this guy is one of the few who feel compelled to mess with his bosses, especially on things like this. Probably also because this man has made phrases such as "That's what she said" things of lore, but I digress. First round matchup, we've got one co-worker, and one of the family owners of the company. Needless to say, my partner will be down on the end of this guy givin' him he (+) *2 hockey sticks all day. Life is good.

5 comments:

Nate Youngblood said...

Cornhole for a decently good cause, you can't go wrong. Not to mention the humor factor of a 70 year old man talking smack to the company owners. One nice thing about old men talking trash...they just don't care. Sam, may you and your partner find the hole.

Anonymous said...

Sam, exactly for whom are you editing this television program? Kids are all in bed by nine or ten at the latest, and I'm sure that many of your readers are more offended by the arduous process of skating (ahem) around the word HELL than we are about falling right through the ice and using the word HELL. Pastor Doug even used DAMN in his sermon on Sunday, so I think you could maybe go out on a limb here.

Incidentally, Ezekiel used the Hebrew equivalent of the f-bomb (I can't bring myself to type it) and later scribes edited it with little markers that clue the reader into the change. They just couldn't stomach repeating what he had originally said.

And furthermore, Stephen King (an authority to be sure) said that if you have a rough character in your book either quote his filthy language, or say that he used filthy language, but don't make his character unrealistically clean.

So next time you're tempted to edit for television, just value truth and say to yourself, "HELL, I'll present this 70 year old man exactly as he really is."

Sam said...

Tim, I sincerely apologize. I was mainly editing for my nephew and parents of my friends who were upset by me calling Hurricane Katrina a "whore." But I'll get back to my normal, profanity laced tirades anyday now.

Anonymous said...

If you live far enough inland, Katrina begins to appear as only a misguided teenager seeking misplaced fatherly affection, but the coastal dwellers know differently.

Sam said...

yo soy del "coastal area"