Aardvark

The author has unilaterally determined that "aardvark" might be the coolest ever potential username for websites which require one. Simply attach some number of significance to it, and slap it on there. This idea did not come about through seeing said username. At work today, the author was lamenting his state when going to the copier/scanner to send some plans via pdf, and having to scan through multiple pages of first names which alphabetically come before the author's. The name must change!

It's also great for people who can't mind their own business.

Finally, stare intently at the aardvark, and in your best seinfeld saying "newman" imitation, say "aardvark!" a few times. If this doesn't make you smile, you might be taking yourself too seriously. Think about it.